hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
