So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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