glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
