Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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