I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
