it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
