Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
