She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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