i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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