Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
