do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
