he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
