If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
