I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
