just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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