yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
this will be a night to untag.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Found your dick twin last night
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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