I will die if light touches me.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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