last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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