She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Fuck appropriateness.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
