you traded sex for a burrito?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
