Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
