So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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