i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
