that's an acceptable place to lick
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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