Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
