I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
