Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
