How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
