I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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