Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
