I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
