yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
