My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
