Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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