There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
im holly from the hills drunk
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
