I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
