Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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