It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
