How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
