Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize
