peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
