can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
