You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
