i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
