Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
