That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
