You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
