i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
