oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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