Hey man sorry I got all grabby
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
