i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
im having a threesome with these popsicles
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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